The World Can Wait

I went to the bookstore, wanting to buy a particular book. I ended up buying another. I'd like to think that the book found me. It had been wanting me, and it would be foolish if I did not see it that way.

God has been my sole guidance, in this searching. I am confident that He's got my back, and therefore I want to put my total trust in Him, just like how He puts His total trust in me, when He left me here on earth to find my way back to Him.

Long ago, there was a man called Jacob went camping by the lakeside. During the night, someone entered his tent and wrestled him until daybreak. Jacob fought back, even knowing that someone is the Lord himself. Morning comes, and he has not been defeated yet. The fight cease only when God agrees to bless him.

It appears here that God doesn't want to win. Not with us. Our relationship with Him isn't something that is determined by losing or winning, definitely not a contest. The end of the tunnel is when He blesses us. To me, besides that, this story also shows that sometimes we have to struggle with God.

We are not obliged to conform to fate, but we can fight it, using our means and efforts. The thing about sufism is; they tend to accept fate wholeheartedly. Thinking this is where the Lord wants me to be. This is my fate, and I should just accept it. This book changed a part of me that feels that way. I guess that was the lesson that God wanted me to have.

That if we challenge the fate (provided that we know what we're doing) and put all of ourselves together to achieve that something; fate can change. That's how we gain respect from Him, rather than accepting what is being laid to us, even tho' it is unfair and we somehow know we deserve better.

The brave ones are always stubborn. The cowards would only care about the ways to get the situation back to how it was. They dwell whenever their surroundings have changed, and they have a fixed idea of how their world should be; it's their comfort zone. While the brave would challenge the situation by adapting, and work towards what they seek for.

Afterall, that's when God's final gift to us will be materialized; our ability to choose and the wisdom to make the best choice.

I also learnt how to forget my past. It is said that the past always stops us from going forward. We tend to remember every bitter experience and use it against ourselves. I somehow could relate to that.

So I'll give a name to my new life. I'm forgetting my past, and everything that had happened, that might pull me back from the things I deserve.

My new name is "Intuition"